No matter how hard you work or how much money you earn, you are only a few bad choices from finding yourself in the poor house. Sometimes, the decisions that we make are in view of perceived obligations. For example, many financial decisions are made in view of obligations to family and friends. On your path to financial independence and early retirement, do not become someone’s retirement plan.
Focus On Your Retirement Plan
As the statement goes, put on our oxygen masks first before the person next to you, including family. This also applies to your plans for retirement. You may be able to make head way in saving toward your retirement by living below your means, saving, and investing. However, it is also easy for a family member or two to constantly ask, manipulate or steal what you have saved. The stories are easily available if you perform a simply search, and should serve as a warning.
What Is Yours Is Theirs
There are so many stories of an individual or a nuclear family making progress by living below their means, saving and investing over time. As this family rises and increases their wealth, it is only natural for families and friends to notice, and notice they will. We can try all we want to hide success, but others will notice how you live your life. While you may try to be the millionaire next door, your close family knows better. While you may drive the standard car and live in a standard house, your family will be well aware of your job and will likely have researched your salary. It is only a matter of time before assumptions are made with regard to your wealth. With assumptions, it is common for others to begin to think that what is yours is also theirs.
As knowledge of your life is shared by family and close friends, you will be seen in a different light. When financial hiccups occurs, you become their bank. If they are having issues with housing, they will show up at your door. If you do not take steps to stop the initial requests or actions, you will pay for it later.
Of course, the proximity to family and friends will matter. The closer you are to those with a specific personality type, the faster the devolution into others thinking that what is yours is theirs. The further away you are, the less interaction and the less issues you may have.
Reason Does Not Matter
It really does not matter if you and others all had the same opportunities. It does not really matter if you choose to live below your means while others live it up. You may sacrifice all you want to maintain your life and that of your family, but it is simply human nature for those around you to think and believe that what is yours is also theirs. Especially when others believe that you have more than you need or that you do not deserve what you have.
What To Do
The fact is, you must learn to say no. You cannot become someone else’s retirement plan. You must stand up for yourself and your family. Others may claim that you are mean, but you must put your oxygen mask on before others. You cannot find yourself bank rolling other peoples lives, especially if these individuals do not understand how hard you have worked for what you have.
It is all around us. Others have nice cars, vacations and homes that dwarfs the size and costs of yours. However, these are the first to reach out for aid and have a deep seated belief that what is yours is theirs. When times are hard, why do you have so much and they have so little, even though when times were good they had more than you and in effect wasted it.
We are not saying that you should be selfish and not help others. Help others and give. Success is not achieved alone and in isolation. What we are saying is, know what you are doing. Know the consequences of your actions. Know what saying yes today will mean for tomorrow. Do not become another person’s retirement plan. Know when to say no.
Conclusion
No matter how hard you work or how much money you earn, you are only a few bad choices from finding yourself in the poor house. Sometimes, the decisions that we make are in view of perceived obligations. For example, many financial decisions are made in view of obligations to family and friends. On your path to financial independence and early retirement, do not become someone’s retirement plan.
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