goals

Jealous friends and your wealth

Jealous Friends And Your Wealth

Money Maroon

While you are focus on your financial objectives, you may lose sight of one very important aspect, your friends. Based on the people around you, can you or will you be able to truly enjoy your wealth? Would your friends be happy and congratulatory of you achieving your financial objectives? Put simply, do you have jealous friends. 

Here, the assumption is that you are not purposely flaunting your wealth to belittle your friends. If you are doing this, then you are the bad friend, and your friends should be distancing themselves from you.

Money Changes Friendships

It is understandable that as time progresses the dynamics of our relationships change. Some friends will grow with you while others will grow away from you. But for those that you aspire to be apart of your life for the near and foreseeable future, how will they react to your wealth or you achieving financial independence? 

You will likely believe or have heard the refrain that true friends will not care. But the fact is, this is wishful thinking. Money changes the dynamics of all relationships. Just do a general search on the internet and you will see what I am talking about. As you transition in life, few of your old life will be with you in your new life.

While I know this, I do hope for you and me, that we are able to navigate achieving our goals and continue to have current friends around us that cheers us on. 

Cheap

If your aim is to achieve financial independence and you have tried to balance your expenses by trying to limit your spending, you will be called cheap. You will hear it multiple times from certain friends who may not completely understand what you are doing. You will be mocked for wearing the same pants or shirts that you have had for years. You will have to endure others around you having newer things, but if you are really about attaining your goal, you will not care. 

But a funny thing happens as you get closer to your goals. All the mocking and jeering will fade away to real questions. How close are you to retiring? What do you think about this financial move, what do you think about that? Your friends will have real interest in what you are doing. They will want to get to where you are, but there is an issue. You have been sacrificing and working on this path for years while they are seeing the end results and wanting that result.

This is where issues may develop.

Real Friends

As your dreams begin to come true, your real friends will continue to cheer you on. 

What I am saying here is that if you are low key, you will continue to be low key. If you believe in stealth wealth, you will likely continue to do the same things with slight changes. If you have achieved financial independence, well, you may change jobs or begin to pursue other things. It is unlikely that you will tell your friends your net worth. However, your real friends will know that you have enough based on your actions.

But your other friends may not see it that way. They will say that you have changed. If you decide to upgrade after being frugal comments will be made. You may also be accused of thinking that you are better than others. Overtime, some friendships will become strained.

Resentment may come from comparison, sometimes it may be linked to your friends own self-esteem and the way they view themselves. Especially if you and that friend started at the same financial point or you were from a lower economic position but have now surpassed them.

Real friends or jealous friends - friends jumping in the sun
Really friends or jealous friends

Why You May Have Jealous Friends

Some friends will be jealous friends because they do not want to see others, not even a friend, do better than they are doing. Some jealous friends are jealous because they love to cause chaos. Misery loves company. But if you have friends who have been with you for a long time and they become that jealous friend, it could be a matter of envy because you had the confidence to take the risks and make the sacrifices to achieve your goals.

How To Solve Or Preempt Jealous Friends

To prevent jealous friends, be aware and have the tough conversations. As you embark on your journey to financial independence and early retirement, note that not everyone is on the same journey. Be conscious of this. While you may be ostracized at first, note that the lifestyle that you will build for your family will likely be the envy of others. 

Once you have achieved your goals, you will likely have amply free time and the financial resources to do as you choose. You will be able to travel, do a job that you want, and spend time with family. You will be able to more so do the things that will make you and your family happy. Who doesn’t want that? This is all while your friends are toiling at a job that they hate and potentially have a life that they do not want. Be conscientious of this. Be understanding.

When friends ask about what you are doing, try to be patient and explain, do not judge their lifestyles. Do not fall into the “I told you so” mantra. 

Above all, live your life as they live there’s and if a friendship needs to end, it needs to end. Do not put yourself or your family in a terrible situation to maintain a hostile friendship.

Conclusion

While you are focus on your financial objectives, you may lose sight of one very important aspect, your friends. Based on the people around you, can you or will you be able to truly enjoy your wealth? Would your friends be happy and congratulatory of you achieving your financial objectives? Put simply, do you have jealous friends. 

Whatever the situation, do what is best for you and your family.

Follow me on Twitter @JoToFI_com

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Video Summary

Back to school

Back To School And On The Money

Money Maroon

It is that amazing time of the year again. Each year, we all enter this phase of transition from summer to fall. As the leaves change, so does our routine. Here comes the back to school rush. Throughout the country, the months of August and September play a seminal role in getting the school year started. With this transition comes the expenses of new school gear and traditional school supplies. Do not forget about the disruption to your typical schedule and the added traffic of school buses and frantic parents trying to get their children to school. Yes, back to school here we come. But do not allow the new school year to affect your financial goals.

Back to school
Keep your eyes on your financial goals

The Relief And Stress Of Back To School

For parents, it is that time of the year where life becomes less stressful in some respects, and more stressful in others. In one aspect, the kids are out of the house (covid permitting) and you know where they are. They are being housed in a school for at least about 7hrs. The kids are also being kept on the education treadmill of learning and developing new social skills. 

On the stressful side of back to school are the expenses of extracurricular activities and the friends that that your child will make and who will have influence over time on their lives while you are not there. For their friends, you as a parent has to establish your home, what is expected of your children and that should guide them. On the expense side, it is also your choice.

The expense associated with your child’s activities is a choice that you are making. You are the parent, it is not your child’s choice, it is yours. If you sign your child up for an expensive sport, do not complain, it is your choice. If you have to leave work early to attend an event, again, it is your choice. When you are making a decision to live within your means, save, invest and grow financially, your kids are apart of your house and how you allocate funds on their behave will significantly influence if you will achieve your financial goals.

Just Starting Out

From kindergarten to 12th grade, you as the parent are generally financially responsible. After that point, the guide rails are gradually taken off. For those with kids going into kindergarten, on a financial level it may be your first introduction to the early school supplies which at this point may include clothes, shoes, and electronics. But for many on the financial front, this is a blessing. Gone are the days of paying for private pre K which can cost more than $20,000 per year. Now you may have public schools to contend with that are free if you are not continuing with private education.

This is not the time to find a place to spend the funds that you had previously used for pre-k. Now is the time to find new investment opportunities, save and build wealth. This can be in the form of investing in the stock market, saving to fully fund your emergency fund or continuing to use the money for your child by having a 529 plan or something similar. Now is the time to save, because if your child pursue higher education, you will pay one way or the other.

If you are continuing with private education, then you will be spending more as you move from pre K to kindergarten. It is not uncommon for such cost to come close to or above $30,000 per year. If you have made the decision to enter private school, it is a choice that while expensive it is one that can be beneficial to your child based on where you are located. However, be mindful of the expense as it accumulates over years.

Returning To School

If you have a child who is returning to school, they will likely be thrilled. Thrilled because they are heading back to school after spending the summer with you. Now they get to jump back into the routine and to see their friends. By going back to school, they are essentially returning back to their lives. For children in this category, back to school is something that they have been looking forward to all summer.

But even for you, it is important to keep an eye on the expenses. Again, if your child is returning to private school, ensure that the expense fits within your plan. If your child is returning to public school, be mindful of the environment and opportunities that they are returning to. Whether public or private, pay particular attention to the extracurricular activities that your child will be involved with and the related cost. You want a developed adult at the end of the journey, but not a situation that will put you in financial difficulties for the future.

What ever the situation that you find yourself in this year, do not allow this transition back to school to take you off your financial path. If financial independence is your goal, maintain this goal and live below your means, save, invest and repeat.

Conclusion

It is that amazing time of the year again. Each year, we all enter this phase of transition from summer to fall. As the leaves change, so does our routine. Here comes the back to school rush. Throughout the country, the months of August and September play a seminal role in getting the school year started. With this transition comes the expenses of new school gear and traditional school supplies. Do not forget about the disruption to your typical schedule and the added traffic of school buses and frantic parents trying to get their children to school. Yes, back to school here we come. But do not allow the new school year to affect your financial goals.

Follow me on Twitter @JoToFI_com

Follow me on Instagram @JoToFI_com